1. Who Cares How Much?
Who cares how much I need that face in my life? Who cares how much I want to hang around? Who cares how much I need that look in my life? Who cares how much I want you around? Who cares how much we argue at night? Who cares how much comfort I feel sleeping on the right? Who cares how much one breast sags from the other? Who cares how much I’ll miss this [something]? And I need something for this headache for this backache, and I need something for this headache for this back break. Who cares how much you cry? You could fill a bucket with your sorrow from eye to eye.
2. Catch the Redeye Out of Girlfriend Land
Saturday I could hand you your Saturday, I can send you a Saturday, I can be true to Saturday, I can walk out the side I can fly up towards those clouds raised up thin air raised up I am there, [something] see you there I know what I shouldn’t do but still I want to. Fall away, I’ll just fall away, readjust and fall away, readjust and fall away, don’t fall away, I have seen picture shows without you before, I have seen picture shows without you before, I know what I shouldn’t do but still I want to. As trite as the ocean, as trite as the midnight stroll, as trite as the sky [something] in heaven knows here comes the rain not the snow, I have seen trains pass by without you before. I have bought groceries without you before. I know what I could do without you.
3. Your Favorite Actor
I am a star. Hal Hartley movie. I read my lines, straight faced in the mirror. You are my camera. Slouched over coffee, I’m faking artsy. We’re playing dress up now. And the rain is washing out the snow. We play the card games that we know. I’ll lay you down here, your body a smokestack. My fellow acrobat. You’re a coal miners song tonight.
4. We Got as Far as Minnesota
In the desert we get sunburned. Tally up our losses by a broken down car. We’re surprised we got this far. What will your parents think? You gave up everything for teenage love, and you’re 23. Gave up everything for heartbreak and sweet cake for second looks and make out sessions under the stars. And when they look at our dirty hands we get followed in supermarkets. You especially with your backpack with patches, you’re not even that punk anymore, they don’t know the difference like I do. You gave up everything for a 1983 ideology, romantic novels in your back pocket. I’m sitting on my ass at the gas station smoking cigarettes, my feet are drenched with rain, I’m throwing in the towel.
5. Do You Need Him Here to Say (Elsa)
You’ve got a smile that knows how, and the ones you always know are falling around now. If you need him here to say to tell you everything’s OK then nothings going to be alright, if you need him here that way. And if I could just interject, it might not make much sense, you’ve got a smile an embarrassed frownand I give it at my best. If you need him here to say that everything’s ok than I’m just not sure that everything’s ok and you wanna know what went down just read it in the papers. straighten up shoulders up.
6. Happy?
I’d like to blame it on my job, but I cant blame it on that. I cant blame it on the tetherball that never comes unattached. I’d like to blame it on the dead ears the ringing in my dead ears. Every note I hit feels a little flat, tied to the chasm of a broken heart. A toothache of sorts a very late start and I’m rockin the sea it ain’t like me, you’re sinking in the sand. I can’t blame my girlfriend shes a real real real real real friend with a cool cool heart than never goes cold on me. I can’t blame it on the lying idiot rockstar mirror, I’m dancing like a moron, I guess its my own fault. Yes, its my own fault again. there’s temperament and there’s tentative action and somewhere in the middle is a bitter young fool with a palate for poison and a poem for every rejection. Comes down to me and me, or you and you alone. The people we love can never crawl inside of us, even if they wanted to. Happy’s up to you.
7. Maybe We Should Get Married
In need of someone to have you and hold you. In need of someone to need you and mold you. I could always be on time. maybe we could get married I could find a slow job. Maybe we could get married. Scary thought in the middle of the night. Behind the ash tray there’s a list of all the things, groceries, jewelry, hairspray I can see in the supermarket I could really do alright with you. You could teach me to get to sleep. I haven’t slept in days I haven’t slept in years. Like I never sleep cuz I’m still afraid what I think gets continued in sleep.
8. A Thought from the Kitchen Floor
I can’t lie. There’s a hole in my life that leaves me feeling like killing, the sound of my voice. The shrill screams aren’t passing quite as fast as they used to. I’m twenty-two and I feel like I’ve tried everything. I can’t die. Some force keeps holding me up. It doesn’t take a very smart man. Obsession I need you to want me not to want me. You won’t admit it but I’m only dragging you under. I’m twenty-two and I feel like I’ve tried everything. I wish I could grant you a way to roll back time to forget the day you ever laid those beautiful eyes on me.
9. Motor Boat
Do you believe in anything? You can’t see the bond between the burning bush, the second look. Slow dreamed punches. Cars side by side. We share a popular disease. Just my way, just my look. Bipolar comment self interest save us. So what’s been said? Have you stayed well fed? What have we done? Put down everyone. When you call after all this time, how am I supposed to feel? Even if you’ve always been true, buildings are still falling down.
10. Please Don’t Sweat the Afterlife
Washing hair and deep down, and disappear, flipping off planes from the ground expensive sex my self esteem if I should lose my life. And your decent in the middle smoking belittled your so nervous it makes me nervous. If I should lose my life.
11. Slow Me Down
Shouldn’t I call someone right now? Why can’t I slow down? Shouldn’t I make some kind of sense? From the bed to the typewriter to the fridge, from the phone to the shower. Why can’t I slow down?
12. Something in the Air
Something in the air just leaves me breathless, I’ve got enough for you to test this. Cuz you have no wilder smile and you cant reason after a while. Something feels so home today. Something feels like home today. You let that jerk make a jerk of you. They gave you just enough to pull you though and you wonder why your not happy. Something feels so home today. Scare me when you talk that way. we can hide away for now. [something]
13. Please Don’t Let it End Like This
I never guessed a kiss could feel so honest. I never expected a thing from you. I’m not the one who’s special but it made me feel so brand new. You made me feel like nothing mattered. Made me believe that love was pure. I want to feel like I still matter to you. Stayed up all night same as last night and the one before just like the night we spent before. Last time I saw you I tried to hide it wasting my time hoping you would walk by. I would have never guessed how deeply you have made me fall for you. I’m not sure how you still feel about us, I myself am a bit confused. I realize that you don’t need me but right now I’m missing you. Please don’t let it end this way.
Written by Eric Mast.
14. I’ve realized that things aren’t really good or bad, at least it’s better to avoid looking at it that way…
Cars are turning over and driving away, I’d like to think of something to talk about. I can’t come up with a consolation prize. It’s not that I want to leave, its that I need to leave. Maybe I should get my things tomorrow, maybe I should sing a little more. Maybe I should tell you more. I don’t know any more. I don’t want you to leave, I need you to leave. Sometimes when I’m walking, I can think of my favorite movie or maybe an author. I only catch his tongue. So take me to a movie, sit at my side. Maybe moving pictures will be easier to let go. With the help of moving pictures it will be easier to let go.
15. Staring at Your Toy Collection
This isn’t my room but still I know where everything goes. Your shoes, buzzing toys, dirty clothes. I can clean for you. Spotless like a palace. Chains bind me too. Your lips are like air. I see heaven all around me, crumbling like your body. These days alone bring me back to a little book. Those pages hold all that makes me angry. And who has the power to bring heaven to its knees? God knows its not me. God knows. This isn’t my home. I feel it in every corner. The chairs don’t sing your name. I drowned. Please let me clean for you. No one else can love you like I do. My hands are spotless please let me clean for you. When you go away.
16. Afraid of Crushes
The way your hair fell across your eyes spoiled my plans to never fall again. And when in vain I said so plain, that I could love, love that face hold those hands, love that place make big plans. She almost cried. And is it alright if I bury myself in your charms? And is it alright if I swear to you without a sound? How odd behaved in situations like these, I cant believe that I’m here I can’t believe that you’d care. And if or rather when it all goes wrong will I retain any dignity at all? Unlike the last one under a cold sun. Unlike the last one. I almost died. Is it alright if I bury myself in your charms? And is it alright if if swear to you without a sound?
1. The short story long
You ask me who I’ve been with, and do I know all their last names? And I cant answer honestly which leaves me open and ashamed. I beg you for forgiveness, you say there’s no need to explain. But now I feel uncomfortable. We’re distrustful still the same. You’ve finally seen your end light tunnel, upwards with a jar. So cute you give me a headache, a black hole stole your heart. So fast you became important to me so fast now you are not. Fondle Fuck and Forgive eventually, this is how we taint our hearts. It was a twenty six night stand, embarrassed but I understand. A condition of loneliness feels so second hand. The idea of getting rid of what you’ve got, does the prospect make you hot? You’re realizing on your projection, I’m forgetting I am not.
2. Blue period
Overly enthused, easily confused. Do you really even have to ask, why you feel so, why you feel so used? Common obligations, common complications. She said to me in the dark, that it was just like suicide and that you really don’t want to die but you’ve said it so many times. Like a musical trend you see it as a phase. Predictable film with a forgettable end. Why does boy meet girl leave me feeling ripped off? The police have been tipped off. Following a trail of denial they’ve all got my file, saying [something] You say keep your chin up. Here we are in the open air. The glow of our godless season, we’re fighting for no reason we both want the same things. And its just like suicide, I really don’t want to die, but we’ve been through this so many times. Its just like suicide, I really don’t want to die, but the choice ain’t mine.
3. At your convenience
There’s only two ways out of here, through my window or through my door. I can say what you need to hear, but I don’t think that I ought to anymore. Its not unnatural to feel like you lost it all. I was kissing your eyelids when I should have been in college and it felt so wrong. And I want you to fail, I hope you figure it out. There’s more than one side to things, more than one reason to get out. But I could never say no, I could never leave alone. We both to chose to live this way, seek the new ones, burn the old ones. And of course there’s not much in the way of conversation. So here’s a new one, burn the old one. You can leave your stereo on, as you cross the threshold into your new life. Take a long step over me, as you walk out into your new life.
4. Birds of a feather
I enable my [something] to forge a little more in the quiet that we found. So just to say anything, you say that you love me. Only so much time you can waste on me, there’s only so much time you can waste on me. And sometimes I believe in God punishing for lack of faith, so just to say anything I say that I love you too. Only so much time, you can waste on me, there’s only so much time you can waste on me. You feel fat and I feel ugly. Together we don’t like anybody. I feel sick cuz I know your gonna run, but I cant blame you.
5. Robi point, stars above
Break your stare, you might make your girlfriend nervous. Choose your words, try not to hurt her on purpose. Cuz you know its hard to be alone, even when your indisposed. You’ve tried it before. Do you want to start all over again? Tell her you’ve become better friends, a little lie never killed anyone. Push out all doubt, she’s the only one you should have fun with. Cuz you know its hard to be alone, even when you feel so cold. You’ve tried it before. Do you want to start all over again?
6. Out of harm’s way… finally
Salt and sugar sustains through the freeze. Your phone calls never bring me out of thick dreams. I cant be reasonable, say come here alone. Pull the phone from the outlet, and collapse in the hall. A hell of a ride if you seize it. It won’t be the same if you leave it. Sleep with your door ajar, for the sound of any person or car. I slept on the sofa bed I never will again. I crept round the living room to tire my limbs. She hated that her balcony, that I could never be ok. When it broke us forever it all resembled TV. You know where you’ll go when you leave here. You look tired with the keys in your hand. Afraid you might have missed her call. Ashamed that you missed her at all. Its not over by any means, but you cant do anything. I know it feels like shunning family, but some bridges are worth burning. Let it die.
7. 1330 Oak 1995
Look out into the freeway eyes of the party. Look out into the dark spring sky at the party. You’d rather be anywhere than with this guy at the party. And now I’m taking it way too hard, I’m so fucking sorry. And now I know that I will become everything I hate eventually. And it puts me back in high school when I wanted to be cooler than I’d ever be. So I went walking from the party, Milwaukee Milwaukee. Walked out into the dark spring sky, left you hammered next to some other guys. Back in my bedroom red lights flashed. Its the first time that I ate food just because I was sad. And what do you care? What do you care? What do you care about?
8. Dodge dart
9. Haven’t been to the ocean sense
Are you lying to impress her? Are you trying to take off her clothes? Are you angry, for the sake of drama? Are you serious? Heaven knows. Are you crying because you’re lonely? Or are you crying because you’re alone? Are you begging, embracing your tendency toward weakness? Do you think you’ll get her back if you let it show? So you run far away from a memory that contains her smile, contains her smile. You run up to see the outstretch that contains the width of the sky. The width of the sky
.
10. Shuffle, Kick, Hum a tune
Keep your crumbling eyes from the gray skies, It can only make living a chore. To come so many miles on broken legs, please don’t put yourself through any more. Keep your arms by your side for now on. Believe in the powers of jet planes. Leave note on the pillow for lovers sake, cuz no one is safe in these arms. You should be screaming for help for your life. And long walks cross black top, etched fields. On my stomach now, a shoulder. Its not right that I fight being mean to you. Amen, goodnight and turn out the lights. I know where you’ll be. Sundown all over town, tuck yourself in strong. Gray and blue striping over you, apples and sunsets and almonds too. Gray and blue on my walk home from you, I could come back, I could come back if you wanted me to.
11. A shaggy dog shames its owner
My father was run out of this town, a coward and a drunk. And my mother tried desperately to clear the name for me. Even in death that guy still makes a mess of our lives. That’s how I found you. Angel at your bedside, kneeling down in front of Mary, with scary eyes. Kill myself for your vision, for an honest opinion. For what my mother wanted, what my mother wanted for me. Even in death that guy still makes a mess of our lives. That’s how I found you. Lately I’ve been thinking doing some real serious thinking about the space between [something] a shaggy dog shames its owner, see.
12. The rest is up to you.
So what did she think? Its fine but its not her thing. So what did he think? The music’s alright but he hates the way you sing. They’re saying terrible things about you at the shows. They’re all wanting to hurt you. They all want to let you know, that they don’t approve of your big move. So what did he think? Its not you he just don’t like that acoustic thing. So what did she think? She hates it when you scream. It makes them sick, they’ve all got a bone to pick. They say you were the worst they’ve ever served, that you coming to the party showed a lot of nerve. You broke the cool kid rule. Prepare to get what you deserve. I heard what he said and it stuck to my ribs. Asking put down what the title advice again. Passive aggressive, wipe the smile off your face. Sometimes I feel like I need new friends.
1. Old moon meet new.
If I try out and I make it, should I bail or play it fake? How deep should I look into things? What kind of chances should I take? In a world of new additions, fuck yeah I’ve made some bad decisions. Somewhere along the feeling grew up, who’d of thought you’d show up? I pulled in to a new driveway last night and I think that I could get used to it. You fool, square tool, think of where you been, all the shit you did, and how you never really got used to it. It only takes you but a little while. A strange attraction to a smile. Until old exploits are explored and it starts to feel like work. I have been I’m a dick cause I scratch when I itch. I can’t let go. It’s safe to say I get in, I get out, and you shouldn’t have to get used to it.
2. Boy cries wolf.
It’s happening again, sorry to say you’re just in time when comedy escapes me I smile I’m doing fine. I don’t want to scare you like I’ve done in the past. I’ll just keep my mouth shut cuz I know this never lasts. Cuz when a boy cries wolf he gets ignored. It’s happening again, keeping myself busy with down time. I lie, I lie, I fib, what good does it do to speak my mind? I don’t want to scare you like I’ve done in the past. I’ll just keep my trap shut cuz I know this never lasts. Cuz when a buy cries wolf he gets ignored.
3. Two violins, which are meant to represent the forest.
Nowhere you’d rather be than fifteen blocks away. Tonight you’re embracing it tomorrow who’s to say. Deem love unconditional but the real world don’t work that way. When we examine it we don’t know what to say. She tells her roommates not to take your calls. The severed heads line the bed their names all burnt in the wall. It’s just not cool to act like it’s a big deal. She tells her roommates not to take your call, you hear her telling them from the hall. Sloppy kids get drunk and drive their cars like big wheels its no big deal. We create images to make our lives seem pretty. We stumble through our rooms in search of a life worth living. But what good does image do when we’re tired and unforgiving? The books you’ve read next to your bed, the words all roll in your mouth. Even if you could say just what you meant do you think you could work it out? She tells her roommates not to take your call, you hear her telling them from the hall. You hang up slow scared as hell, she’s not kidding this is real. Nowhere you’d rather be than tied to a line to her. Tonight you’ll try again as for tomorrow you’re not sure.
4. Tyco Racing set and a Christmas story fifteen times
Here comes winter trial, wishing I could remember being a child. On my knees again begging for Jesus or maybe an OK friend. I have been betrayed by an anger that broke me. Here’s to what I could’ve done. Another year passes I still feel on the run. Pull the winter inside me, I draw a picture, but it’s not the way you plan, ever. Round cold Christmas time I never feel quite real. My family fucks me up some wounds don’t ever seem to heal. I get drunk to forget their faces but part of me misses a home. His holy infancy won’t fill the hole. Round yon virgin tenderness be kind. The faithless they need you more than you realize. It seems like around Christmas time we’re all hanging by thin strings. I try to dry my eyes but the rain just seems to cling. Sleep and hope for January.
5. Dostoyevsky gets mugged outside a donut shop in Jersey.
Our savior’s fallen ill, and he won’t get up. We’ve cast away our stones. Why won’t he get up? So unawake with you, you let me drive your car. You let me break your heart and still not want to give up. So now the only time I get to see you smile is in the darkest rooms with the brownest tiles. And to hear you laugh is a sweet refrain. So sick with joy, I’m the perfect boy. Our savior’s fallen ill, but here’s a souvenir, another saint to pierce against your bedroom wall. It says you can’t give up and that you won’t wake up, until you close your eyes and lay down.
6. On the subject of her new gold star.
We say I love you every time we hang the phone. But it’s not like you’re alone. A scene as awkward, but not really like an end. And it’s not like we’re just friends. So strange to really like him, so nice to see the joy that it brings. Right where you belong, not in these creepy songs with me. And when we hold that second longer chest to chest, I can feel your heart beating in your breast. To see your happiness is the truest gift. Like when you’re on the phone with him and you bite your lip. So strange to change from a martyr into a person, did you know you always helped keep me from slipping? Right where you belong, not in these creepy songs with me.
7. Young Fiction Writer.
Save face and leave, before she gets mean. You know how to act, you scripted the scene. This film’s more a short, a monologue of sorts. Whatever invalidates the mind reading smile. Now ask yourself quietly, (you’re a bright breathing funeral) Was it worth all the agony? Your last fairy tale. A string of stealth encounters, making sex under the table. Perfect simple positions like the truth you’ve learned to bend. Now ask yourself quietly, you get worked over nightly by the brutal reality of your last fairy tale. Young fiction writer, you tried to live inside her. Depending on paper to save you in the end. Now ask yourself quietly feel free to answer honestly. It’s OK you’re alone now, was it worth one less friend?
8. I know you heard me the first time.
I don’t need it at the foot of my bed anymore, and invitations of “friends” like howling wolves at the door. We’re bent backs at the bar, we see them slide in from afar, what are we in public for? So we take the bar home, cuz we can’t stand the smell anymore. So I light up in a field a gasoline scarecrow. Although I frighten no foes. The only bones rattling were my own. It was a good life. Most time wasted. At least you had fun. You don’t need it, so you live alone and that’s OK, but you’re pulling more plugs and it’s harder to talk to you now a days. Have you taken your pills today? Have we taken our pills today, is your head OK? Playing dead in the shower for more than an hour, it’s gonna be awhile. So I light up in a field your gasoline scarecrow. Although I frighten no foes. The only bones rattling were my own. It is behind me. It is unreal. It is behind me. Become unreal. A new beginning, a new beginning. I want youth in my life forever and ever again.
9. 43C.
Welcome to my life. The words on the spine face down, trying to keep my mind from worry. This is how I’ve learned to spend my time. A painting of my days lived with restraint. I draw pictures, send birthday presents. Yes, I sleep alone, which is fine. But soon, I’ll need you. I won’t last like this for long besides, we can’t afford the calls. Soon it’ll take two. I want to see you in the morning, hug you while you’re yawning. Don’t want to think of the day, when every day becomes every other day. Fall back into sneaking, I can’t help but thinking, you are how I ought to spend my time. The sky is turning blue. My eyes are too. They have to see you to be sure that you are you and she is her. Soon I’ll need to wrap my arms around you, smile and say I’m glad I found you. Could it be you? Will we decide to move? Will our lives improve? If we decided to try Philly or do ya think I’m talking silly if you do than for christsakes tell me. If we decided to try Philly all my friends out here would kill me, can I convince them that you love me? Welcome to my life. The words on the spine face down.
1. Hook
you so complete, so much cooler than me. you will be the catch… you, in your sleep, still could land on your feet. you will be the catch of a lifetime.
2. One bird. One stone
one bird, one stone. one father, one son. patriarchy like a toll. you have to get out. when you’re tired, must be stoned. if you’re hyper than you’re high. the little bit of joy that you feel knowing you’ve taken his only son. less interest creates power. a number one.
3. Scene
hey mr. heart, don’t you know, without the right food to grow you won’t break the soil come summer. from punk house to punk house, it’s always been somebody else’s scene. i guess in the spotlight. undress in the day time. all my friends are brilliant. it’s really them you’re listening to. cover torso, cover toes. bury the mirror in dirty clothes and at last it sings. something new to believe. sexual politics, no justice. just rain, just words. just us. shouldn’t have to place demands. help me ask and not command. oh there we go again, so unsure about it. who we are and where we’ve been. this is the bad side of tenacity.
4. Hoax
You so complete, so much cooler than me, you will be the catch of a lifetime. You in your sleep still could land on your feet. You will be the catch of a lifetime.
5. This life, so unlike the last
i’m gonna hitch a cabby instead of the mercedes . forget chisel, tilt, and comic books. i’ll write with whistles and sing to walls. remember faces massachusetts, 1998, snowing sammy shaw. we learn to forgive those who do us wrong. recieve this language, let me go. i’m gonna spend your money, gonna make your baby sing again. express disinterest. call you again and again. forget i wrote this, i changed my mind. you thought i’d have learned something from the last time.
6. 26 is to soon
cradled in the arms of a dream, i sit on my bed and sing. tonight has given a new soul to the grave. i’ve screamed and crowed, but it won’t let go. what if i try all my life, and i still can’t get it right? plug the same three songs from twenty years ago. when the morning comes to find me by the window, my breathing will be the only sound, and hope will be the world revolving. hope i’m not enjoying this wrong.
7. B-side poetry
i loved you since before i was born. i loved you since before i had skin. without you it feels all kind of worn. i loved you…more. i loved you. i loved you so much. you were the candle i wanted to touch, but just like fire, you broke through my skin. took away my dignity, and i lost a friend.
8. Yes, you’re busted
will you call me a genius when i write down all my fears? when i’m locked in my room all day trying to sound like it’s been years? and when i exaggerate to make the meaning count, will you count on me or will you count me out? we have stopped to admire the ones who don’t wash their clothes. that narrow their glance at the dance but soften their eyes for shows. what a big surprise, the end of the night, the sets for you. you’re not sure if you know him, but he wants you to think that you do.
9. Free advice
i don’t know what you want. i don’t know what you need. i wonder if i’m annoying you like your annoying me. middle finger to the freeway, and your puppet show goes on. it’s none of your business who she feels anymore. so you call her and you expect her to care. she don’t care. who’s in the wrong? even if it hasn’t been that long, she’s none of your business anymore. so you couldn’t find a place in your heart to put her. so this pocket of soil will have to do. it’s none of your business who she feels anymore. when you call her you expect her to care, she don’t care. who’s in the wrong? Even if it hasn’t been that long, she’s none of your business anymore.
10. Pick a town, Find a box, Live alone
a lack of interest has shown itself, let’s go. less and less adds up to very little, so it’s back to work i know. all your favorite places that you’ve taken me to, they’re all just repeats. what’s an old bored kid to do? try to write bright words. make you smile, make you smile for once. we’ve been the problem, the solution. why now does the truth get treated like a lie?
11. 11:11
the premature adaptation of the got it made game plan. the heartless work of the red in her dress. alone has done some funny things to my friends. the pull of affection has a bleaching affect. a series of square-one references. eleven eleven to one eleven tracers blaze. a glow off the face of a soldier, “things are going well young man.” smile, pause, steady then…
12. Sex ruins everything
first impressions of the next day: a hornet repeating its sting. worn out, woke up. pull out, pull up you think… is it always gonna end this way? scratching names off the phone list. is it what you take or what we give away? that makes your heart feel less homeless? you’ve only pushed the splinter deeper in. another hook in your lip, losing whatever war you’ve been trying to win. a million notebooks just like yours, full of weed and whine. you’re a character in everybody else’s short film. You didn’t have to be one in your own life. You’ve only pushed the splinter deeper in, losing whatever war you’ve been trying to win. rapid fire. gun for hire. i hope he blows your smile away.
13. Cater
i’ve catered to the likes of you. believed you knew something i didn’t. the whole is huge, but barely wide enough to blacken everything and sustain a lie. we turn the couch around and dance again, destroy a living room with all my friends. a secret key, a confidence. one heaven sent. a halo not yet bent. you can compete. it makes life sweet. we haven’t seen anything. you so complete. so much cooler than me, you will be the catch of a lifetime. you in your sleep, still could land on your feet. you will be the catch of a lifetime.
14. Little time bomb
one of them’s off their food and the other one’s off his head and their both spinning off down the boozer. to drink a toast to the one that he hates most and he says there are no winners only losers. well if there are no winners that what is this he sees as he watches her complete lack of honor? as he sits in the stands with his head in his hands and he thinks of all the things he’d like to bring down upon her. but revenge will bring cold company in this darkest hour as the jukebox says its all over now. and he stands and he screams what have i done? i’ve fallen in love with a little time bomb, i’ve fallen in love with a little time bomb. in public he’s such a man he’s punching at walls, with his bare and bloody hands. he’s screaming and shouting, acting crazy but at home he sits alone and he cries just like a baby. and he holds her letters but he can’t read them as he fights this loneliness that you call freedom. and you said this would happen and you were not wrong. i’ve fallen in love with a little time bomb.
written by billy bragg
Kind of Like Spitting • Bridges Worth Burning
1. Passionate
Brother, Friend, its not like I want this to end. Sister, Companion its not like I planned to abandon, but I have been here before. Your pages get flipped I can tell by the weight in your face that you cant be trusted, well I have been here before (there’s nothing behind it) you can’t tell us that we’re all together, like a sea of presidential timber, we are filled up one by one, I like you! I like you! We feel our heads collapsing until we find some kind of space, it comes on slow and then it takes over, lets be passionate its not like we’ll get another chance to do this, don’t be embarrassed, go over the top but come up from the bottom, let’s be passionate its not like we’ll get another chance to do this, don’t be embarrassed. Your heart, your lips, the parts of your being that I miss, they have seasoned me over the last year, but haven’t we been here before, we’ve got something against the words (when there’s nothing behind it) I want to take these little minutes and try to find myself some space, I wanna relive little minutes and try to keep the dream awake, I want to relive little minutes, but they just keep stacking up on themselves, you can’t make it fit when it works like this if it becomes a job.
2. We are Both Writers
Reacclimate to my surroundings back in a city that just seems to eat itself and all I really wanna do is get back into you. No tension no worries, but every time it comes around I find grey ways to let you down, I can’t control my instincts, why can’t I be happy just to call you a friend. I thought things could be different, maybe I could do some good, come home spent to unemploy a past from Hollywood. Some things can change everything despite their rights and wrongs, I’m getting reacquainted with my lower self. Redhead teach me compassion from your fragrant continent, while you’re at it you can resurrect my family, while you’re at it you can summon Christ and part the seas, while you’re at you can pulverize my chemicals. I’m so sick of trying to fight my body and you at the same time. I am righteous in my anger! All I have to give you is my lower self, I will sing of how we made love like strangers, and all I have to sell you is my lower self, oh how you are so petty as the post-punk kids you pity, how you swear by the myth that you’re not beautiful, and nothing ever seems to work the way that it gets planned, so we turn away from everyone that loves us, hypnotized by waves our lives are deer blocking the lane, we can just sit back and watch it all go up in flames, till every note every chord sounds the same, it goes boom boom boom boom boom on my ego, it goes boom boom boom boom boom but I don’t mind it anymore cuz it can only go boom boom boom for so long, until it hurts you more than it hurts me, and nothing ever seems to work the way that It gets planned so I turn away from everything that hurts me, climb back into a cloud of smoke my face close to the flame, cameras pulling back , leaving you left off the frame, it’s a party and you’re not invited.
3. Born Beautiful
They were born beautiful, so right away, they swore they could get themselves a house someday and read to each other despite all the others that had passed through their back gates, they were both radiant and far away, living on a diet of romance and faith until history crept in and wouldn’t leave them. It’s a classless kind of fate, it holds its ground in the way that death just makes you wait. New fears to edit the cutting room floor where their hopes are. Cause its not pretty and if you had to watch a movie of it I’m sure you’d both be horrified, horrified and bored. All the hopes that get shafted, to bet on the good life, with all the granite etched in they may as well have been man and wife, all the fits he’d throw, feeling her anger grow, it never gets found lost in used to be’s and you’re left with so much wasted energy, So now to cold satellites that have crashed to earth, welcome home.
4. He Calls Me
He calls me, nearly every day with what he’s thinking, he calls me, because his world is cruel, because I am cruel, he calls me. And sex almost always comes up, sex almost always comes up, I wonder what he’s really thinking, when he pulls the hair off my face. I wonder what he’s really after, he’s got movies at his place, I wonder what he’s really wanting. Is he lying right to my face? Is he lying right to my face? Soul converter! Soul converter! Soul converter! I’m gonna act like I never ever heard of ya! He calls me every day.
5. Following Days
Let the following days always remind us of the presence we face constantly dazed, let the following nights uniformly teach and conform, bless and keep us warm until we’re finally safe and together. Oh how repressed are our exchanges, I see your hands full, I watch you grow old, how many smiles have you been faking, from what I’m told you’d like to see a coffin fold, there is no sympathy, so these are useless love letters. The house is filled with smoke and light, hallowed wings and blacked out eyes, the scene goes frame by frame. Until we finally focus on the few details we have left but failed to use we will remember what we choose, let the following days always remind us of the presence we face constantly dazed.
6. I Want Out
Hands down I know that there is hope just spend this time alone, I wrote this down it must be true. There’s no release we can’t provide, we understand every chemical inside, I want to peel the skin away, peel it back up off my face, all the words and empty promises release them, I want lightning through my roof while I tear apart your room, find all the love I gave to you, retrieve it, I wanna take this time I’m sure that in this time I will endure, until everything just ceases to be revolve around it, I wanna kiss ya somethin’ pure, give you a shake you can’t ignore, set free all of the birds tied to your ceiling, I want out, I want back in, I want out, I want back in.
7. Canaries
Make what you can out of nothing keep bluffing your way to extinction you’re a sick fuck to think that this, unlike anything else will last forever. Building rock anthems a jigsaw exterior, you see what you miss but you can’t stand to be near her, it’s bigger than that you realize but short-sighted impulses own what’s left of your dignity, tell yourself quietly don’t plow the field yet, you’re waiting to grow some new life from retrospect. You know free agency pays little in the long run, but you just don’t feel like you’re legs are that tired yet, friends and go betweens sing like canaries crushed in leaves, this is the thanks you get. Somewhere that’s sweet maybe someday we will meet. And I can thank you without strings. All these befores that get drilled on long after, its all just leverage when you’re sure that its over. The street goes blurry like a movie that you saw once. Minutes freeze but you can’t collect the corners still. She used to whisper your name like a refrain, and when she held you, you know you felt safer, but your demons are fucking huge you stack your deck to lose. You say theres nothing you can do well we all know you’re lying, friends and go betweens sing like canaries crushed in spring, this is the thanks you get. You get what you put in, I guess that’s bullshit in the end, written under fluorescent lights, that replace the sun at night.
8. Tyco Racing Set and a Christmas Story Fifteen Times
Here comes winter trial, wishing I could remember being a child. On my knees again begging for Jesus or maybe an OK friend. I have been betrayed, by an anger that broke me, broke me. Here’s to what I could have done. Another year passes I still feel on the run. Pull the winter inside me, I draw a picture, but it’s not the way you plan, ever. Round cold Christmas time I never feel quite real. My family fucks me up, some wounds don’t ever seem to heal, I get drunk to forget their faces but part of me still misses a home. His holy infancy won’t fill the hole. Round yon virgin tenderness be kind. The faithless they need you more than you realize. It seems like around Christmas time we’re all hanging by thin strings. I try to dry my eyes but the rain just seems to cling, just seems to cling. Sleep and hope for January.
9. This Lemonade is Terrible
Pull the world out from underneath you there is no new one here to greet you just days like snakes crawling up your legs, the work seems worthless, at least hardly worth it, when everything you have to say is invalidated by the smile on their face. I know now it matters little whether or not I survive. It’s all I ever wanted and it means nothing, you take your share, you take your turn, we watch you laugh someday we watch you burn! I know now it matters little whether or not you survive, I swear there’s more to it than just the dull ache swine go by so fucking smug, do you really have to feel like you just won something? Do you really have to feel like you just won something? Do you really have to feel like you just won something? It’s my choice. I won’t fake it. It’s my choice, I will take my chances!
10. Crossover Potential
We like the music with the vocals mixed low, we speak of songs as if no one else knows, so unoriginal our m.o. until something better happens, until we find another way, hey your soul has no crossover potential, is that the brain you want to own. In the clubhouse with the door closed, convoluted scene yeah I think I know exactly what you mean, someday I’ll find out what this hope’s for, find distance between my happiness and this bullshit dream. So apropos, hey that’s our story how it goes, I hope we don’t have to spend life on our knees, begging do something with us please your average woe has no punk rock credentials! Your voice is not your own, so you better find you some friends and try to make this feel like home, you better find you some friends or else you’re gonna go it alone.
11. Continent
Dumb and numb, from young and wired, all I do is wait, pushy and hungry for more, Curtis do you know what our lives are for now? That it’s been three weeks and no one talks about you anymore, all I do is wait, we are a sea of fragility and so ready to surf the sink, till the sponges are flooded and we’re all forced underneath, all I do is wait. I’m so good at condescending, its so good for my week ego, can’t get past what comes naturally to me it comes natural to use, there’s a fairness in the city, there’s a new smell in the air, satisfaction promised but the sentiment ends there, All the Capricorn reactions, in the river up to my knees, hundred little baby fishes, with baby bottle mouths to feed, and crooners crawl themselves like whores across the bar room folds, my mother used to hold me, I hold her now that she’s old, after all it’s just a notion, nothing really in the end, till a good one leaves the continent you just can’t write words to send, I guess everything’s just perfect, it’s all true what you’ve been told, run and tell your good friends that you, you just got sold!
12. Untitled
Now that it’s been awhile, somehow come back in style, you smile at me, I hear the trash collectors at night, drunk romance soft forgiving lights, it’s all the same, fifties, sixties, seventies, now, art films burnt into our brow, if it’s all the same to you, I’m going home.
Aubergine
I live in a town where the streets are paved with glass
Where the thriving upper-class just can’t be bothered
I live in a town where the weeklies are just trash
Where pretty faces dominate the present and the past
I live in a town where no money means no friends
Where the party never ends
Can I borrow a fiver?
I live in a town where I made this demo tape,
It’s called ” The Wagon Wheel falling off our Record Deal”
The hit’s called “Make You Wait”
I’m no victim; broke is different from poor
I’m still learning what my heart is for
Overall it’s overwhelming
Feels like a punch every time I come home
Hits like a fist every time I come home
Running out of excuses for ever explosion
I live in a town that reminds me what I owe her.
I’d like to roll along but Volcano won’t turn over
I live in a town where I want to be alone
Where I’ll never build a home, feel stupid for trying.
I live in a town where I made this demo tape.
It’s called “The Wagon Wheel falling off our Record Deal”
The hit’s called “Make You Wait”
I’m no victim; broke is different from poor
I’m still learning what my heart is for
Overall it’s overwhelming
Feels like a punch every time I come home
So many songs sung in shrill thinning tones
I’m no victim; broke is different from poor
I’m still learning what my heart is for
Overall it’s overwhelming
Feels like a punch every time I come home
Hits like a fist every time I come home
Running out of excuses for ever explosion
Well Fell All Over You
Pass the place where they sleep
‘Hold my breath,’ my sister says to me
Grab a button, set an angel free
The notion peaks my curiosity
She spent her life under the GRE
Fought off a million evil industries
I’d like to think it meant much more to me
but now I can’t recall the memory.
So she laughs at all the jokes over mirrors lined with coke
She chuckles at the hopes of every card caught in the spokes,
Black and white got blurry and her world went up in smoke,
LOVE WAS JUST A VERB WITHOUT THE PATIENCE
(High and buried alive isn’t that just life?
High on secular lines, isn’t that just life?)
By the way, I know there’ll be hell for any hand you hold,
There’s more to it than you’ll ever show, but you never know.
It’s small and rich and all the same
Aren’t you tired of taking all this blame?
With nothing but a bitter taste to show.
A dream second can stand epic in scope.
When you touch me I feel sick.
A walk of shame from former residence,
Here’s a quarter, call a friend,
I found a place to hide in nowhere,
Nowhere is just my size
It’s nice to meet you, What’s-your-face
You know you kind of have her eyes…
By the way I know, there’s a prayer in every lie you told
There’s more to it than you’ll ever show,
Not much to mention you don’t know,
It’s small and rich and wet, but wait
Aren’t we tired of taking all this hate?
With nothing but a bitter taste to show.
Worker Bee #7348-F87904 Lyrics
I don’t want to hold my breath as long as you can
I don’t want to starve to death just ’cause you can
What happens to the mountains we were gonna climb
What happens to the house we promised both in time
Why can’t I hate you or get it off my mind
Why can’t I just relax and leave the past behind
I don’t want to have sex anymore just because I can
With anyone that doesn’t trust me stabs demands
What happens to the trains that we were gonna jump
What happens to our plans to make our lives erupt?
I can’t get past myself
I’m falling over you
So now I’m rolling up my sleeves
I’m just a worker bee
Hey Mom, look at me, I’m thinning
Anger, guilt, rejection, pride got caught whistling, walk the line
Always knew you’d find a reason
Always knew you’d find a reason some way
Did you know it’d break your heart, that you would leave it from the start?
Honestly that’s just to hard to work with
Why are you surprised that I miss it, that I try
That I sing myself raw
Every night?
Leave the keys
Leave the keys Pick up the boxes with your knees
And break a sweat with me one last time
Spin
Bird swings, sing blue, my Paris fling
Out the screen door, off and old cassette
My mind was tight and ran like a demon,
When you showed up it was the darkest of dark nights
The saddest of sad sights
I hung on through unsteady drugs.
Cat cartoons on the sleeve of me
They never leave me
A billion broken band Joes rule
The sun is setting on the life I’m leaving,
The bill collector ca’nt understand the heavy metal kid’s agenda,
Tell me, Brenda, is there more to this I need to see?
My mind was tight and ran like an engine,
If you don’t mind I’d rather fuck up my own life,
Bore into sad nights
Please don’t expect a birthday card.
Tell me, what’s expected? what is owed?
Do you really want to fix it even though it’s made of snow?
Tell me, Brenda, I can’t really remember
Cause I’m swinging from my family tree
Is this real, innate, or just a fucking screen?
Is this real or is it all just words to sing?
In The Red Lyrics
There’s so much that i don’t understand
So i lay awake and analyze the night
I have popped every pock, picked at every scab.
The levels aren’t hot enough
It sounds so cramped and tight
Faster than a bullet from the chamber
From hotel beds “I love you” said to strangers,
No matter what it meant, no matter what’s implied,
I keep wasting all my time finding signals, riding rhymes,
Not one voice goes unaffected
Crumbling under all the weight of critics, judges, mentors,
Falling off the cart
Some sunlit, show-less, hapless town,
In the winter, the van is quiet…
And we’re crowded
The pen is broken
I’m bleeding on the napkin,
All of these thoughts are inconsequential so it’s over,
It’s all over,
Hoped the Greyhound would roll over
Down into the drink and the cops would block the streets for miles
Crumbling under all the weight of critics, judges, mentors,
Falling off the cart some sunlit, show-less, hapless town
The spell I’m under blankets ear plugs
Swelled up breath getting quicker so,
I dog-ear pages to remember where i left off.
I hope we grown up soon
Before my mind goes out of tune,
I hope we grow up soon,
Before out lights go out
In the winter the van is quiet…
5. Sheriff Ochs Lyrics
I just finished a book with its cover torn and its pages worn.
The story starts on the day you were born in the city.
Where movie houses stood
Raised on Elvis and Hollywood.
The bad guys bad and the good guys good
And the weight of the worlds is always on the sheriff’s
shoulders,
There was life in the little house
Above the hospital for the dying,
So I will keep singing,
I will keep finishing for some words in the water all around me
The house of home shook and as the shelter broke you got a
good long look
At a country and class run by buzzards and crooks
Mississippi! Mississippi!
Through CIA and Klan
Through McCarth’s damn blacklist, Nixon, and Nam
They tear-gassed the students but you had a plan
And the weight of the world is on the sheriff’s
shoulders
There was life in the little house,
Above the hospital for the dying.
So I will keep singing,
I will keep fishing for some words in this water all around me
There was life in the city that night.
You found your voice and you voiced your sight.
You held your ground to help us see
There’s more to life than lovers and chores
There’s more to life that an office at the top floor,
Somehow, someway, we all find peace,
We all find
All Hail Lyrics
This impulse, so lazy
Fifteen days without a set change,
Forward yes kid counter-clock cross clutches
Three billion people
One fucking name.
Raise the flag of resolution
Live out your cycle,
Out here there’s a new constitution every couple hundred miles.
Turn the bed back into a couch
A mattress tongue in a seventies mouth
Not a home, just some fucked-up home to spend time in,
I know I’m gonna pass and how these history books burn fast
All hail the myth of great control.
All hail the holes we shine in for three bucks at the door
And all along the way you sang hallelujah, save these souls
And the more and more you gave, the less you seemed to have your own
These labels, these long names,
Another construct
Hold up the mainframe,
Take the piss out
No eye contact for the haters
In the weather we’re all wet the same.
I see the flags
I hear the standards,
Keep every frame on file
Self-installed, self-improvement stalls
Oh how through ourselves at style.
Turn the bed back into a couch,
Put thank-you notes on the fridge
Heads out,
flames rise, try not to feed them
Oh how we know when we’re beaten.
I know I’m gonna pass and how these history books burn fast,
All hail the joke we’re getting away with,
I’ve got the check but I’ll have to post-date it
All along the way you sang hallelujah save these souls
And the more and more we gave the less we seemed to have
our own.
So we burn in whatever we have to learn
We burn in whatever we have to learn
Per Se Wha?! Lyrics
The food that you love has snuck up on you and what a
weight you’ve gained.
The life that you chose was getting too heavy.
Now you can’t complain.
Now you can’t complain.
There are many subjective versions of what people view as sane
As the childhood gods picked for us steal our friends
Now we will sin, now we will sin
Now
The beats that you love have beaten up on you
Now you can’t complain.
The life that you chose has gotten to heavy
what a weight you’ve gained
Oh what a weight you’ve gained
Are you happy with what you’ve got?
happy with what you’ve got?
You gonna make a move or not?
Make a move or not?
We argue these questions over bottom-shelf whiskey.
You love it
You hate it
I’d like to see you trust it
The life that you chose
At least you told yourself you chose
What a weight we’ve gained
Oh what a weight we’ve gained
Song For Annie’s Harmmonica Lyrics
Slid right through the turnstile and off the loft we went,
We were taken in by strangers, called out by coil and kin.
Oh concentrate on as far back as you can go,
When we would put a bullet in its belfry to prove it’s all a hoax,
So what we don’t impress the fireworks with the strumming of our smiles
But you can look up how high heaven is and try to count the miles,
Keeps us busy for awhile.
Said the cradle to the kick drum that life begins again,
Smoke butts like spent bullets
Street sweepers home to sleep again
And when he put his arms around me his hoodie smelled like gasoline,
So here’s to all lost fragrances,
To a future with some balance,
To a future without judgment,
To a future with my family
To a future without anger,
To a fate of more than damaged fits,
To a future worth remembering.
Grapes Lyrics
she thought long and she thought hard
then thought to thank me with an irregular card
I buzzed out, I went low. I went down on her before she made me go
and I’m still burning at the core
selfish and angry and what for?
I do the work then I do more
want you to trust it but it only seems to hurt you more
but it’s really not up to me to say
one woman’s poison is another’s perfect way
it’s really not up to me to say
one woman’s prison is another’s wedding day, wedding day
I’d like to sing it through today
learn to spend our time in better better better better ways
and I know what I’m sorry for
don’t wanna do it anymore
I want it back not like before
want you to trust it but it only seems to hurt you more
but it’s really not up to me to say
to own your sadness or make you stay
it’s really not up to me to say
one woman’s prison is another’s wedding day, wedding day
why do we hide from the sun when we know we don’t have to?
why do we hide from the sun when we know we don’t have to?
why do we hide from the sun when we know we don’t have to?
Line And Sinker Lyrics
despite what you recommend
despite what you implement
this just can’t stand anymore
3 A.M. at my door
with no one to tell you that it’s wrong
drugged for some seasons
sure we were pure
like cancer’s quick miracle
or resin chalk spectacles
party after party
the laughs they just told you that you were on
and the luckiest asshole I’ve ever met
is playing music on my bed again
sharing wings and boulders
bringing me back in
those who all give advice
those who all recommend
those who know everything
kitchen philosophy
those who speak quietly
words wide and sympathy
they don’t know of your eyes
six inches from mine
or the taste of your hips
with the windows wide open
so here we hang loosely
and dry on the vine
I put my hair up and think of us marrying
this garden’s the same but these fruits have new names
I have wanted you for so long
and the luck of the lasso, for once I wept
never seemed to get more than a glance
and the feathers and boulders I once possessed
they found a home in age and circumstance
Finishing Lyrics
it’s amazing what a light I knew
it’s amazing what a light I knew
and if you think it’s all her fault
that just isn’t true
I didn’t know that I could be so cold
I didn’t know that I would ever grow
and now I’m older than I’ve ever known
the lack of love in my life
I used to try to crush everything
outside of what directly spoke to me
now it’s not cute, this inconsistency
just a lack of love plain in sight
it’s amazing what a light I knew
it’s amazing what a light I knew
and if you think it’s all her fault
that just isn’t true
I used to say I gave her everything
but then I realized it was selfishly
you know I do just almost anything
to bring her eyes back to mine
I hate so deeply the bridge burner fame
but still I bark out like a dog on a chain
when I think of all the hearts I’ve left in my way
mom and dad you made a big mistake
it’s amazing what a light I knew
it’s amazing what a light I knew
and if you think it’s all her fault
that just isn’t true
so here’s a song, I’ll call it Finishing
please don’t believe I need your sympathy
when all and all the problems rest on me
hate to be any doubt
it’s amazing what a light I knew
it’s amazing what a light I knew
and if you think it’s all her fault
that just isn’t true |